Sung to the tune "Girl From Oklahoma" by Steel Panther Tell me more!Well, I bet you never guessed When you got to the game You’d be smashing through tables And feelin’ no pain Your boyfriend’s in the parking lot Looking for you He’s gonna find you when I’m done Covered in Buffalo goo Ooooh, Miami girl got all sticky Silicone titties Tramp stamp on your beaver? Down in South Beach You’re a wide receiver What’d you have to do For that field-access pass Cuz I found a Marino jersey stuffed up your ass Come on, Miami girl Squish the fish all night Checkin’ out your tailgate Sure hope it’s tight Dolphins gonna lose, ya know I’m right Oooh, Miami girl, squish the fish all night Yeah, that's it Aaah, deflate my balls Pinto Ron, ketchup n mustard In the Hammer Lot I can’t wait to do a Bowling ball shot Wings ‘n Labatt Blue Is what they got The only thing better Is her mouth and her twat Hey eyyy, who’s next ta fuck her Whoa, whoa Come on, Miami girl Squish the fish all night I'm part-a Bills Mafia So please don’t bite Here comes a batch-a blue cheese It’ll taste alright Oooh, Miami girl, squish the fish all night In the AFC There's a hundred billion wacko chicks, just like you Hungry for dongs to screw Come on, Miami girl Squish the fish all night Sneak in a dildo Throw with all your might Drunk near the railing You fell outta sight Oooh, Miami girl, squish the fish all night Come on, Miami girl Squish the fish all night I'm part-a Bills Mafia So please don’t bite Here comes a batch-a blue cheese It’ll taste alright Oooh, Miami girl, squish the fish all night Hey, Miami girl Squish the fish all night Zubaz’d in your end zone Much to your delight Dolphins gonna lose, ya know I’m right Oooh, Miami girl, squish the fish all night Come on, Miami girl Squish the fish all night
Tag: miami dolphins
Wait! There’s a “Squish the Fish” Song?!
The lyrics below are from the funny and catchy song “Squish the Fish (feat. Sticky)”. It accompanies the hilarious novel “Squish the Fish: A Tale of Dating and Debauchery” by Dave Lundy.
When I first saw her, I grabbed my fishing pole.
She gave me that look, ta slip it in her waterhole.
Advance down her field, ta penetrate that vertical line.
No block below the waist, and now it’s time to dine.
(Chorus)
Oh girl from Miami, there’s one thing I gotta do.
For this boy from Buffalo, it all ain’t nothin’ new.
Inhale your ocean breeze, goddamn it smells dee-lish.
Time ta do my favorite thing and, squish, squish, squish the fish.
Entering your end zone, you’re as excited as me.
Your eyes rolled back so far, no way ya can possibly see.
Excessive celebration flags, the refs just made the calls.
Yeah, yeah, caress me there, and deflate my balls.
(Chorus)
Oh girl from Miami, there’s one thing I gotta do.
For this boy from Buffalo, it all ain’t nothin’ new.
Was it good for you, to fulfill my wish?
Ya want me ta do it again? Ta squish, squish, squish the fish.
It was great at first, couldn’t imagine nothin’ better.
Got soaked in a hurricane, and you were much, much wetter.
Tired of dolphin-free tuna, at your tailgate party.
Hey, there goes a school-a snapper, I don’t wanna be tardy.
(Chorus)
Oh girl from Miami, there’s one thing I gotta do.
For this boy from Buffalo, I’m off to catch something new.
Don’t care what her name is, don’t matter if it’s Trish.
My clock’s at high-noon ta, squish, squish, squish the fish.
Squish, squish, squish the fish.
Squish, squish, squish the fish.
Squish, squish, squish that fish.
Squish, squish, squish the fish.
Copyright © 2017 by Bottoms Up Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this song may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
I’m Dave Lundy, and I’m a Buffalo Bills Fan.
Published November 4th, 2017
Damn right, I’m a Buffalo Bills fan… well, maybe more than a fan. I love Buffalo and the Bills so much that I wrote a song and published a book about them called “Squish the Fish.” If you think that sounds crazy, keep reading.
Let’s take a step back — I didn’t even grow up a Buffalo Bills fan. So why would anyone in their right mind choose to be a Bills fan? Four Super Bowl losses in a row — torturous. The Music City Miracle — a kick in the nuts. O.J. Simpson — let’s not even go there. In the past 17 years, Buffalo has had more drunk fans fall from the upper deck of their stadium (one) and more dildos tossed on their field (one) than they have playoff appearances (zero). So again, why am I a Buffalo Bills fan?
I grew up in Binghamton, NY and, like most people there, was a New York Giants fan. I hate to admit it, but I didn’t root for the Bills in their first Super Bowl. A year later, in 1992, I transferred to the University at Buffalo for the spring semester. On January 26th, I watched Buffalo play in their second Super Bowl with my new friends in our Ellicott dorm. That year I was rooting for the Bills — admittedly, it was more like rooting against the Redskins — and again they fell short of victory. After the game, people were crying and throwing crushed beer cars out of windows — until everyone just said “fuck it” and we partied our sorrows away for the rest of the night. (Side note: I have a couple of good postgame stories, but unfortunately because of legal reasons, I’m not allowed to share them.)
The next two years of college brought two more Super Bowl losses, both at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys (F Dallas!). After I graduated, I took a job at a local company in Cheektowaga and finally went to my first game at Rich Stadium in the winter of 1995. It was a game against the Miami Dolphins and was one of the greatest days of my life. I’m not lying, it was that much fun. I loved the tailgating, the third-down train horn, the fan spirit, and the support of the team. There was electricity — and booze — everywhere. I watched Kelly, Thomas, Smith, Tasker, and Christie lead the Bills to victory over Dan Marino and the much-hated Bryan Cox (F U! You gave us the finger — we gave you 160,000 middle fingers back). That was the day I truly became a fan. The day I first watched the Bills “Squish the Fish!”
Now I live in San Francisco and gather with the rest of the Bills Backers at the Northstar on game day. There’s nothing like wearing Zubaz pants and drinking Labatt Blue with friends to make you feel at home. Last year, we met at the bar and took a charter bus over to Oakland when the Bills were in town. Our amazing organizers, Maggie and Jeff, set up an incredible spread with wings and garbage plates. But here’s the best part — Andre Reed hung out and tailgated with us! What a trip that was!! As for the game, however, I’m still trying to forget how we folded in the second half.
Earlier in the season, a bunch of us also flew down to LA for the Bills game, and I finally met the legendary Pinto Ron at Busby’s West during the Saturday welcome party. That was a great weekend and we won the game! I also was at the 49er game in Buffalo and partied in the famous Hammer Lot! It was incredibly fun! And we won that game too!!
Like in any twelve-step program, the first step is admitting you have a problem. So here it is — I’m a Buffalo Bills fan. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m sure-as-hell not moving past step one. I’m a Bills fan for life and I can’t wait to celebrate in Niagara Square when the Bills bring home the Lombardi Trophy! Until then, cheers!!!
Dave Lundy 